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How to Survive Middle School

Cover of How to Survive Middle School

How to Survive Middle School

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Fans of James Patterson's Middle School series will root for David as he goes from feeling as insignificant as a hamster to becoming an Internet superstar.

Eleven-year-old David Greenberg dreams of becoming a YouTube sensation and spends all of his time making hilarious Top 6½ Lists and Talk Time videos. But before he can get famous, he has to figure out a way to deal with:

6. Middle school (much scarier than it sounds!)
5. His best friend gone girl-crazy
4. A runaway mom who has no phone!
3. The threat of a swirlie on his birthday
2. A terrifying cousin
1. His # 1 fan, Bubbe (his Jewish grandmother)
1/2. Did we mention Hammy, the hamster who's determined to break David's heart?

But when David's new best friend, Sophie, starts sending out the links to everyone she knows and her friends tell their friends, thousands of people start viewing his videos.
From the Hardcover edition.
Fans of James Patterson's Middle School series will root for David as he goes from feeling as insignificant as a hamster to becoming an Internet superstar.

Eleven-year-old David Greenberg dreams of becoming a YouTube sensation and spends all of his time making hilarious Top 6½ Lists and Talk Time videos. But before he can get famous, he has to figure out a way to deal with:

6. Middle school (much scarier than it sounds!)
5. His best friend gone girl-crazy
4. A runaway mom who has no phone!
3. The threat of a swirlie on his birthday
2. A terrifying cousin
1. His # 1 fan, Bubbe (his Jewish grandmother)
1/2. Did we mention Hammy, the hamster who's determined to break David's heart?

But when David's new best friend, Sophie, starts sending out the links to everyone she knows and her friends tell their friends, thousands of people start viewing his videos.
From the Hardcover edition.
Available formats-
  • Kindle Book
  • OverDrive Read
  • EPUB eBook
Languages:-
Copies-
  • Available:
    2
  • Library copies:
    2
Levels-
  • ATOS:
    3.9
  • Lexile:
    660
  • Interest Level:
    MG
  • Text Difficulty:
    2 - 3

Recommended for you


Excerpts-
  • Chapter One

    The first day of summer vacation is important, because what you do that day sets the tone for the rest of summer.

    That's why my best friend, Elliott Berger, is coming over to watch the Daily Show episodes I've recorded. Mom and I used to watch them together. She always said the host, Jon Stewart, stood up for the little guy, which is funny, because Jon Stewart is a little guy--five feet seven inches. According to Wikipedia, the average height for men in the United States is five feet nine and a half inches.

    Let's just say I can totally relate to Jon's height issue.

    Anyway, I record other shows, like The Colbert Report and Late Show, too, but mostly Elliott and I watch The Daily Show. We both think Jon Stewart is hilarious and a great interviewer. Someday I'm going to be a famous talk show host like Jon.

    He and I have a lot in common.

    1. We're both Jewish.
    2. We both have our own talk shows--but mine's different from his. It's called TalkTime and I post the shows on YouTube.
    3. We're both vertically challenged (but I still have time to grow).

    Since Elliott won't be here for a while, I shoot my first TalkTime of the summer without him.

    First I set up the studio (aka my bedroom) by taping a poster of New York City's skyline on my wall, kind of like they do on the Late Show with David Letterman. That way it looks like I'm shooting in an exciting location instead of boring Bensalem, Pennsylvania, where the biggest news is that they opened a Golden Corral buffet restaurant on Street Road. (Yes, I know that's a weird name for a road, but that's what it's called. It's almost as stupid as parking in a driveway and driving on a parkway.)

    Anyway, next I make sure my special guest is ready in the greenroom (aka the bathroom).

    He is.

    Finally, I set my camera on the tripod in my bedroom, bang two empty paper-towel rolls together and say, "Action!"

    Using my best talk show host voice, I begin: "Welcome to TalkTime with David Greenberg." I scribble on a piece of paper with a grand flourish, like Jon Stewart does on The Daily Show. Then I crumple the paper, toss it into my laundry basket and keep talking. "It's our first show of the summer and it's going to be a hot one. Ha! Ha!"

    I hear Hammy's wheel spin like crazy, so I turn the camera toward his cage and give him a close-up. "And now," I say, "your moment of Hammy." As though on cue, Hammy hops off his wheel, looks up and twitches his whiskers.

    I smile and think about how I'll edit that later, showing a split screen--Hammy on the right, credits scrolling on the left.

    I point the camera back at myself and sit in front of fake New York. "Before we get to today's special guest, it's time for Top Six and a Half with David Greenberg.

    "Top Six and a Half Things That I, David Todd Greenberg, Will Miss About Longwood Elementary School.

    "One: The lunch lady who snuck ice cream onto my tray every Friday. By the way, awesome hairnet, lunch lady.

    "Two: Student of the Week, which I won a total of seven times--more than anyone in the history of Longwood El. Wahoo!"

    I pace around my room until I come up with number three. "Three: Helping Ms. Florez in the TV studio with morning announcements. She said I was the best news anchor she ever had."

    I pace again and trip on the tripod. The camera topples, but I catch it. I can edit that out later, though it'll make a weird jump in the action. It would probably be safer if I wrote my Top Six and a Half before I filmed them! Back in front of fake New York, I take a deep breath and say, "Four: Spanish Club. ...

About the Author-
  • Donna Gephart is the author of As if Being 12 3/4 Isn't Bad Enough, My Mother Is Running for President, Olivia Bean, Trivia Queen, Death by Toilet Paper, and Lily and Dunkin. She lives in Jupiter, Florida, with her family.
Reviews-
  • DOGO Books Ms. Switzer - Good easy reading. Each of the main characters come from fractured families. Each deal differently with having a parent leave their household. There are opportunities to learn more about Jewish culture and how to survive middle school.
  • School Library Journal, starred. With short chapters and broad humor, this one is for "Wimpy Kid" aficionados."
  • The Bulletin of the Center for Children's Books "A deft balance of clever humor and poignant drama makes for an engaging and thoroughly enjoyable coming-of-age story, one to which many young readers, particularly boys, will find themselves relating . . . excellent cast of supporting characters . . . there are enough laughs, tears and additional contributions from a camera-loving hamster here to make this one appeal to Diary of a Wimpy Kid fans."
  • Booklist "Gephart crafts for her likable protagonist an engaging, feel-good transition into adolescence that's well stocked with tears and laughter."
  • Publisher's Weekly "This funny, tender novel . . . is relatable and compulsively readable."
Title Information+
  • Publisher
    Random House Children's Books
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Digital Rights Information+
  • Copyright Protection (DRM) required by the Publisher may be applied to this title to limit or prohibit printing or copying. File sharing or redistribution is prohibited. Your rights to access this material expire at the end of the lending period. Please see Important Notice about Copyrighted Materials for terms applicable to this content.

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How to Survive Middle School
How to Survive Middle School
Donna Gephart
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